Reframing Depression
Clinical Depression is a strange affliction. I assume this stance for any and all mental illnesses, but can only speak to the one I experience personally. Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I’ve been dealing with the worst bought of depression I’ve experienced in 15+ years, it seems apropos to write this now. My intent is to describe this in a way that will allow it to be more deeply understood. Please leave your preconceived notions at the door.
It is insidious, which could be the reason why so many describe it as a “monster” that lives within them. I could liken it to how demonic possession is portrayed in movies — The thoughts, words, and actions that present themselves are a product of something inside me, but separate from me. In varying degrees, based on their level of awareness and consciousness, sufferers can feel it — an entity they have little to no control over. You don’t feel like yourself because it’s not you. That sensation and realization is simultaneously both terrifying and liberating.
It does not care about anything, which is why it’s frustrating for those afflicted with depression to be told to “get sunlight, workout, and eat healthy”. If it cared about those things it wouldn’t stop you from engaging in the activities. There are those that can coerce themselves into doing these things and it helps pull them out, but for others, there is no coercion to muster. There are different types of depression and none are one size fits all.
What are the symptoms of Clinical Depression (also known as Major Depressive Disorder)?
Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007
“I am terrified by this dark thing that sleeps in me.”
What are the treatments for depression?
Treatment for depression can include one or more of the following: psychotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, EFT, medication, in-patient treatments, and brain stimulation therapies.
For more info on how to diagnose and treat depression, visit this link:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20356013
Please remember that depression does not mean someone is crazy. There is nothing deranged, wild or aggressive about it. One of my goals in life is to change the vocabulary used to describe mental illnesses. I realized I had to start with how I spoke to myself and about myself to others.
“One of the best things I’ve done for myself recently is remove the word “crazy” when I’m describing how I’m feeling. We gravitate toward that word because it’s how society has portrayed mental illness for so long. But, what’s really happening is an imbalance, so that’s how I choose to describe it. “I’m feeling imbalanced”. This way, I am not creating the narrative that I AM anything, I’m just experiencing my disorder. Depression is inside me, but separate from me.” - Nicole Aguilar
If you feel like someone may be depressed or you know someone is depressed, please don’t diminish it to something less than it is. Depression is very heavy, scary, and overwhelming. For info on how to best help someone with depression, please visit this link:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943
